"i give myself away. i give myself away. so that you can use me. my life is not my own, to you i belong. here i am, here i stand. Lord, my life is in your hands. Lord, i'm longing to see Your desires revealed in me. take my heart, take my life as a living sacrifice. all my dreams, all my plans. Lord, I place them in your hands." - william mcdowell
so the days are ticking by. one by one the day comes closer to starting a new journey with Jesus. a few days ago, i had one of the most incredible experiences i think i have every had. all of my friends gathered around me on the day i turned 20 and laid their hands on me and prayed over me. i can't even describe how much it means to me. i am very blessed.
after the every cupcake had been eaten, dance had been danced, hug had been given, and every heartfelt goodbye said, i had some time to think. i was laying in my bed trying very hard to go to sleep thinking about the incredible birthday and prayer night i had just had. and all of a sudden.... reality hit. hard. "oh my gosh... i'm moving to africa.... for six months! what am i doing?! God are you sure this is what you want for me??" i started remembering all the people i had just said bye to earlier and didn't want to say bye to them. i was going to miss them too much. i eventually fell asleep praying & asking Jesus to give me peace. i knew this is what He wanted me to do.
the next morning, i woke up and met betty (my best friend) and mrs. molly (her mom) at a random church to hear Perry Stone preach. man, was he awesome! they started playing this song called "i give myself away." mmm that song hit the spot. while i was singing that song and while my heart was freaking out i laid my heart before the Lord and gave myself away. all my plans and all my dreams, one of them being my dream to go to africa. i stood before Him and let Him tell me His desires for my trip to africa all over again. i gave my heart over to the Lord so i wouldn't freak out anymore. it's His. i'm off to africa with my best friend sitting beside me squealing and giggling to ourselves about how much I am going to see Him work and how much He is going to use me to do so.
thank you Jesus for showing me all over again in such a gentle, loving way you're behind me every step of the way.
